Love your crazy as much as you love your joy.
How often do we judge and feel shame for the parts of ourselves which don’t fit with what we perceive as normal.
The parts that don’t feel good to us or make us appear like we don’t have our shit together.
Today I had a moment (or two) of complete and utter crazy.
My time in LA has been incredible intense and thought forms have taken over me like entities. I wanted to control how my trip would be, I wanted fun, connection, adventure and expansion but it’s been more like a very bad movie and it’s been incredibly scary process for me. There have been some highlights but most scenes have been intense. I knew on the way over I would experience something epic and something was going to happen but I wasn’t ready for this.
I know my next level expansion has called forth next level breakdowns because there has been a thought form that has had such a tight hold over me for half of my life. I have managed this, suppressed this and made sure it didn’t get in the way of my life but everything has been flushed to the surface to heal and transform.
My heart goes out to Oren for lying on the floor with me and handling this like the King he is because there would be few men that know how to interact with this energy.
When I felt too much shame to look him in the eye he told me to love my crazy like God loves my crazy. He said Crazy is just a state of being just as joy is a state of being so I must see all of my states of being as one, like God does. God doesn’t judge my crazy, nor did Oren.
When he asked me to love my crazy I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to, how could I love something that isn’t me. I didn’t even known this side of myself. I didn’t know I could go there nor did I ever want to go there again but as I felt more deeply into it I could feel the love for what was behind the crazy. I could feel compassion for why it got to crazy.
I had suppressed so much for so long. I had denied a part of myself.
Crazy was more me than anything because I had no control over it.
So many parts of me I do try to control to fit in with the rest of the world. But crazy – that was pure expression. Unfiltered.
So many of us are trying to control our crazy.
If your into any type of personal development you may have dealt with your shadow, but most likely so you can experience more light!
But could you just love your shadow, your cray cray with no desire for the light?
Even our shadow work and personal development work has elements of control
Today I was able to look at my crazy moments and love them. I could feel the healing that was taking place not just within me but so many others for my willingness to go there. To let it out and to welcome it.
It’s time to show up in whatever way is authentic in the moment. No more hiding, no more controlling, no more trying to keep it together.
Miracles are on the other side of this.
I share all this because it’s part of my path as a teacher. To demonstrate the transparency in the process. No shame in the different sides of me.
Thank you Oren for how committed you are to love, truth and transmuting the darkness on the planet. Your fearlessness and openness to being one with the dark makes you the miracle worker that you are. You are one of a kind. A King who embodies God more than anyone I know. I am eternally grateful that God placed you in my life for such a times as this.
Miracles are coming!